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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?